Saturday night i was lucky enough to go out with my boyfriend to a local fair but of course my mind wasn't quiet "66 calories plus 110 is 176 which leaves me a fairly normal person sized dinner..." "walk the long way around, burns more calories" which somewhat ruins the quality time with my boyfriend.
I couldn't share candy floss with him or chow on toffee apples. Instead i got bruises all over my body due to the hard seats on the rides which do not hurt, but look awful. My fingernails turned navy blue and my low blood sugar meant i almost passed out on a ride called the "cage" which uses G force to pin you into place as you are 3 stories up parallel to the ground. Walking off of that ride shaking my boyfriend bought us chips to share (which i must admit made me feel 10 times better) but that only lead me to: A bag of crisps, bowl of noodles (with lots of veg) spring rolls, cheese cake, 3 croissants and more crisps. I was sleeping over at his house so i couldn't purge either :(
*sigh*
When i got home i drank two bottles of water and a cup of coffee before doing ab exercises and squats. I still feel guilty about it all.
I want to saw a pic of you with your boyfriend, you seem really in love!
ReplyDeleteMy mind is also thinking all day in calories (but i can't say it en public, there was one of the things that produced that my mum taked me to the doctors the last april), and it don't let me enjoy what i do. I don't know if this happens to all the girls with and ed, or is only from my binge disorder: i can't have a normal eating, if i eat less (200 kcal of the 500 that i must to eat for a meal) or more (700) that i must to eat i feel better that if i eat normal (500). I felt this in the fair. For this I must to eat the toffee apple.
I'm so proud that you not purge, sometimes i think that all the restrictions deserve a reward, like one individual day sharing with your boyfriend one food that you like but you never eat. And i'm sure that you enjoyed this time! ♥
Aww thank you! We have been together for over a year!
DeleteI understand what you mean, all i think of is calories. It's so distracting when i try to study!