Thursday 10 October 2013

I'm a Mess, Dear Diary...

Is it bad that I just want to go into a deep hole with my duvet to cry and sleep? Maybe sometimes listening to sad songs to make me extra sad.
I’m not always sad, I don’t know if I’m even sad, but I’m know I’m not happy.  No one knows this, no one has ever delved into the depth on my mind to see what’s there. I don’t let them. My mind is not pretty or cute as I make myself out to be. I think horrible horrible things and I’m not proud of any of it. And it brings me down; the fact that I dwell on nothing and everything without being able to channel my thoughts. I’m a mess.
And I don’t let others worry about me, talking to a friend on facebook consisted of me briefly explaining an issue that makes me cry but ending the sentence with “but enough with my problems, is everything ok with you?”.

I’m afraid people will judge me for the things I think, so I carry on with my innocent persona.   

(copied and pasted from my diary)

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